It's All About Jason Mraz

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''You have to LIVE IT if you want to BE IT!''...Jason Mraz
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journal翻譯:巧手Jason參加婚禮~

It’s my dream to exploit a wicked ballroom style tango, cha-cha, and salsa thing in front of my friends and future family when I take my “first dance” with my new bride. To me there’s no better audience to captivate than the ones that knew you in diapers or when you were rrested that time or used to blow dry your hair like one of the New Kids on the Block.
我一直都有個夢想,當我和我的新娘在婚禮中開舞時,我要用我超帥的探戈、恰恰和騷莎舞姿,在我的朋友及未來家人面前臭屁一番。對我而言,如果想要施展我的魅力,除了那些當你還包尿布時、被警察逮捕時,亦或是幫你把頭髮吹乾、讓你帥到跟當年''街頭頑童(80年代末期偶像團體)''一樣時就認識你的人之外,再也沒有比他們更好的觀眾了。

A wedding is a great redemption to stand up and say, this is my Hot Wife and these are our hot moves. Prepare your guts for that awful feeling of jealousy and enjoy the open bar before we say goodbye and get busy in the back of a limo.
婚禮是個絕佳機會讓你能起身告訴大家:''這是我火辣的老婆,而這是我們火辣的舞姿,在我們說再見並且在禮車後座翻雲覆雨之前,請大家準備好迎接你們的妒忌、好好享受吧台的服務吧!''

I arrived at the sister’s wedding in full magician’s garb. Meaning, my suit was well stocked with every trick I’ve learned in the last year, minus the doves. My goal was simply to become the world’s greatest Uncle to the world’s most awesome niece, but it turns out 6-year olds are hard to entertain. I bent a real penny in front a small boy’s eyes and he gave it back hoping I could turn it into something else, like a dollar. So I made my rounds wowing the adults instead with great results except for a few that feared I’d given up my day job.
我到達時活像個魔術師;意思就是,我把去年學到的各種花招技倆都帶到婚禮現場...當然,不會有鴿子跑出來。我的目標很簡單,我希望在全世界最棒的姪子面前成為全世界最棒的舅舅。但結果很明顯,6歲小孩真的很難討好。我在他面前把真的一分錢折彎,他不但還給我,還問我能不能把它變成其他東西,例如...變成一塊錢。我放棄了,隨後終於在成人間獲得一些喝采,嗯,除了有一部分的人很擔心我是不是想放棄我的事業。

Random quote of the wedding was grandma mistaking me saying, “I’m a little hot.” She fired back surprised with a rather loud, “You’re a little High?”
有個婚禮中的小插曲。
當我跟阿嬤說''我有點熱''時,阿嬤聽錯就算了,居然很驚訝的吆喝我:''你說啥? 你好膽說你現在很亢奮?''(按:指吸毒後的亢奮 XD)


The highlight of the adventure to the motherland was the visit to my first place of employment after I decided I didn’t want to build fences with my Dad.
這個返鄉冒險的最高潮,就在我決定不想跟老爸一起搭籬笆後,我去了一趟這輩子第一次上班的地方。

I got a job at a craft store when I was 15 to earn some cash. I was a stock clerk responsible for taking inventory of all things crafty, from boxes of glue to big fake bouquets of plastic plants, the kind you see on tombstones. During the holidays I was entrusted the glamorous task of making garland and wreath displays high up on the store walls using Christmas lights, hot glue and papier-mâché reindeer. On good days I cut great lengths of ribbon and learned how to tie elegant bows. Plus, the workplace was entirely women. Sure, most of them were Senior Citizens, but I can’t think of a better group to go to the movies with for the up front parking and amazing discounts.
當年我15歲想賺個零用錢,在一家手工藝用品商場找到一份工作。我的工作是負責存貨盤點,商品從一盒盒的醬糊、到大型塑膠假花...就是你在墓碑旁邊常看到的那種。通常假日我被托付非常''迷人''的任務:負責將聖誕燈泡、熱融膠和混凝紙漿馴鹿做成花圈,吊在店面的牆上。好一點的日子裡,我得剪超長的緞帶,學習怎麼綁出雅致的蝴蝶結,再加上,工作環境中全是女人。當然啦,她們大部分都是老人,不過我大概也想不到有更好的人選能讓你帶他們去看電影時,不但有優先車位還有驚人的折扣。



Nerd Alert.
....突然覺得我真是怪胎


When I moved back to my town from New York City in 1996 I returned to the craft store for employment, but this time I was promoted to the Frame Shop, a respectable corner of the store where you weren’t bothered with requests about everything else. We were specific to framing, cutting glass, mattes, designing, creating, etc. It was choice. (That is, until my girlfriend of the next 11 years came walking thru the door. She’s a long, twisted and painfully romantic story that began some years before that and deserves its own blog to be honest.) But it meant me writing “I Quit,” on my timecard and punching out for eternity when I was supposed to be going to lunch. I hadn’t stepped into the craft store since the day I returned to pick up my last check.
1996年我剛從紐約回來,回到同一間手工藝用品商場上班,不過這次我晉升到表框單位,這裡不錯,不會有人一天到晚問東問西來煩你。我們負責表框、切割玻璃、圖畫照片襯邊、創意設計等等。這可說是精挑細選後的好缺了(這裡指的是在我的女友也就是接下來這11年到來之前而言。那是個從這事件前幾年就開始的冗長、曲折而且痛苦的浪漫故事,說真的,它本來就該用篇文章好好紀錄)。然而,這工作還是逼得我在打卡紙寫上 ''我不幹了!'',從此打卡下班再也不回來,還記得當時
是我的午餐時間。
一直到我去領最後一份薪水之前我沒再踏入過這家店一步。

When asked if I was all right by the management that day, I panicked and told them the first thing that came to mind. “I’m Moving,” I said. “To Maine.” …Yea right. Main street maybe. About 9 miles away. I dunno why I said it. I was weird in those days. I wanted people to see me on a greater adventure. The one I always had in my head. The one I’m currently living today.
那時經理問我一切都還好嗎?我一時緊張,脫口而出當時第一個浮現腦海的話:
''我...要搬家,搬到緬因州。''  
最好是啦,我說緬因''街''還有可能,距離差不多9英里遠而已吧。我實在不知道我幹麻這樣說。那陣子我怪怪的,總希望能讓大家看到我有更了不起的經歷、過那個當年我老放在心裡殷殷期盼的生活......也就是我目前所過的美好日子。

It felt good to be back in the store that inspired so much creativity as well as mischief, not to mention my first practice in capitalism a la minimum wage. Being there smelled the same as the day I lied my way out the door 10 years ago. The pungent and familiar odor was likely due to some of the same ladies still working there. Apparently the fountain of youth flows in the potpourri somewhere between the “Garden of Beadin” and the fall mums.
回到這家店的感覺不錯,它給我的靈感不下於一個搗蛋的死小鬼,更不用說我當時在資本主義威勢下所領的微薄薪水,而今天站在那裡聞到的氣息跟10年前我在同一個門後說謊那天一模一樣。那刺鼻而熟悉的香水味,很可能來自於當時就已經在那裡工作的同一位女士。很明顯的,青春之泉在''串珠花園(著名手工藝串珠專賣店)''和秋菊花之間流入乾燥花香罐中保存得當。

I gathered some basic materials on my in-store visit and revived my skills in the craft world by assembling a scrapbook of Polaroids I took at my Sister’s wedding. It will be her favorite gift to open when she returns from the honeymoon, pictures of me eating cake & dancing the electric slide. Classy.
我在店裡買了幾樣基本的材料、喚醒我的工藝巧手,將婚禮的拍立得照片組合在剪貼簿上。我想這將會是她蜜月旅行回來後最喜歡的禮物,裡面不但有我吃蛋糕的帥樣,還有我跳electric slide的英姿。讚啦!
(關於electric slide這種舞步請參考
http://www.the-electricslidedance.com/)

Count on my next album having a new dance on it. Something any hillbilly can do. I’m ready to retire by making everyone crazy.
看著吧!我下張專輯會有新的舞步、那種任何鄉巴佬都會跳的。我想我已經準備好把大家搞瘋之後光榮退休!


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